Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Awesome Things About Baltimore

Yesterday I was running through Federal Hill. It was hot. And humid. Near the end of my run I passed a man sitting on his stoop who was somewhat overweight (and by somewhat overweight I mean he was pushing 400lbs). He had a hat on that said "I heart Intercourse" and was spraying a hose at the tree in front of his house. Now I'm not a botanist but I'm pretty sure that a tree absorbs water and nutrients through its roots and spraying a tree trunk with a hose for 20 minutes is completely useless. I could be wrong, but thats beside the point. The point is this guy got my inner monologue going. I saw him and started thinking about the way I approach my life. Here I am busting my ass, it's like 113 degrees and 1000% percent humidity, and for what. He is totally relaxing without a care in the world. Is it really worth it to work out 5 or 6 times a week when all I really have to do is let myself go, sit on my stoop smoking a few parliments hosing down a tree, and wear clothing declaring my love for vaginal penetration (actually I think it was promoting a town in Pennsylvania but I knew what he really meant) and I will be hands down the sweetest guy in Baltimore. I think it might be time for some changes.

6 comments:

Baha said...

Agreed

David said...

Sitting around becoming fat and out-of-shape isn't all it's cracked up to be.

David said...

Unless, of course, you're sitting on the porch pelting kids-on-skateboards with beebees

mike said...

Being the sweetest guy in Baltimore is not exactly setting a high goal for yourself. That's like a girl saying she wants to be the hottest plus-sized model when she grows up.

Los said...

I just bought an elliptical ... had I read this, I might have passed on it ... damn!

Eric said...

Wasted money there eh Los.