Tuesday, September 30, 2008

How Did This Happen?

I don't eat very much. I'm skinny and I have a small appetite. I don't know if I'm skinny because I my lack of an appetite or the appetite develop because I'm so skinny. It's the chicken and the egg and all that crap, the point is, I don't eat very much. Sometimes I don't finish dinner because I simply get bored. All the cutting and chewing and sitting up straight is just not worth it when I could be relaxing and not moving. Occasionally I skip dinner all together because I ate a late lunch. This is why the following list is so perplexing to me:

A Complete List of the Food I've Eaten in the Last 28 Hours

2 Nature Valley Bars
2 packs of Oreo Cookies
2 Ham and Cheese sandwiches
Half a bag of Utz Kettle Cooked potato chips
Half block cheese (with crackers)
3 pieces of pizza
1 everything bagel
1 16-20 rib eye steak
Mashed potatoes

This may not sound like that much to some, but it's a veritable binge for me. I've been trying to figure why I'm so hungry lately and I can only come to one logical solution. I'm pregnant. A few months ago I wouldn't have thought it possible, me being a man and all, but then that one dude (you all know who I'm talking about, I don't feeling like finding a link to the story) got knocked up and everything changed. Expect to see me on Oprah in the very near future.

Friday, September 19, 2008


I just got back from vacation late last night. A week where the entire day consisted of relaxing on the beach, then going back the house and relaxing by the pool, then relaxing in the hottub at night.

I took today off just to keep the relaxation going before going back to work next week.

So what do I wake up to at 8 in the morning?

A jackhammer. Right outside of my window.

I hate you Baltimore. I hate you so much.

Monday, September 08, 2008


- I saw a homeless man reading the newspaper this morning. I thought it was nice that he was keeping up on current events, but I was really curious as to what he might be reading so I decided to ease in for a closer look (I'm like a ninja). He was reading the stock market report. I've said this before, I'm not really sure what irony is, but I think a homeless man check stock prices qualifies as ironic.

Although, maybe he wasn't a homeless man. Maybe he was just a really dirty broker. I shouldn't presuppose that someone is homeless simply because they're filthy and sitting on the sidewalk. They could just be a hippy.

- We have a new neighbor. My roommate met her first and this was his description: a hot, blond, australian girl who just graduated college. I know, sounds pretty awesome right? Well, I met her on Saturday night.

She's from Florida. That totally ruins it.

Moral of the story: My roommate can't tell the difference between a southern accent and an Australian accent. And he's an idiot.

- Yesterday I played Guitar Hero for the first time. I'm terrible at it. I feel like this makes me more and less cool at the same time.

Friday, September 05, 2008

This is the headline for today's featured story on Yahoo!:

Even Paris Hilton has fallen prey?! Holy shit, we're all screwed! Oh wait, she's an idiot. We're fine.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

A brief foray into politics...

I don't really get into to politics very much. Well, I don't talk about it on my blog anyway. I doubt many people care about my opinion on most matters, mainly because I'm generally ill informed. But I would like to just throw something out there. Sarah Palin's children are named Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, and Trig. I could be wrong about this, but I believe her husband is eskimo, and maybe these names have something to do with that. I'll claim ignorance on that. But if that's not the case I don't think I could ever vote for someone who gives their children such terrible names. I'm just saying.

Trig? Really?

Who knows maybe she's just a former sprinter who loves ESPN (or NASCAR), Val Kilmer movies costarring midgets, the pan flute, and triangles.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

I have a group of friends who love to read my blog. They ask me about it all the time. When they bring it up it's always in a semi mocking tone as if they think it's super lame. But secretly I know they love it because they check it every day. I'm on to you guys, just so you know.

Anyway, since I how much they enjoy my awesome musings on life, and pretty much everything about my blog in general, I know they'll be super pumped about this. I would like to congratulate Brent on being the 25,000 visitor to I'll Think of Something. You're sort of famous now so enjoy it.