Friday, December 01, 2006

Me So Hungy

I don’t eat breakfast. Generally I’m at work within a half an hour of waking up in the morning. I’m all about maximizing my productivity, there is only so much time in the day and I can’t waste any of it on a bowl of Froot Loops or an omelet or something. I’m always go go go and eating breakfast would just be a drag on my overall efficiency. Most important meal of the day my ass, that’s what I say.

Ok all of that is total lie. The only reason I get to work early is so that I can leave earlier. And I don’t eat breakfast because I am just way to lazy for something like that. In fact the act of going to the store to buy something to make for breakfast is too much for me a lot of the time. I don’t think you can really say you’re maximizing your productivity when you usually spend an hour or two watching the Food Network and playing freecell after work everyday.

So yeah, anyway I don’t eat breakfast which always raises an interesting question for me. On the rare days when I do mix in a bagel or something why am I always absolutely starving by lunch time? Seriously, I’m never this hungry on a regular day. Is breakfast really just a warm up for the rest of the day? I think that my stomach is eating itself right now. I’m dying. Literally. I’m so hungry I feel like I might vomit (which by the way is another very interesting phenomenon, seems backwards). Basically I think breakfast is a total scam. I think that if started eating it regularly I would gain like 30 pounds in the first month. It makes sense, I eat breakfast, I’m starving, I eat a bigger lunch and dinner than normal, on top of the food I already ate for breakfast. I’d be such a fatass. Nice try breakfast but I’m on to you.

10 comments:

Tony said...

I agree it is a scam....almost like Hallmark and all of the stupid Holidays. Breakfast is only important when you show up at work hung to the gills and need something to soak up the booze aroma. Other than that, it serves no important function. Maybe if America realized this the would not be the fat asses they are. Power to the Non-Breakfast eaters.

Rachel said...

Man... Food can be your best friend or worst enemy can't it?
Eating in the morning increases your metabolism for the day. Burning more energy makes you hungrier like giving a fire more fuel.

Rachel said...

Man... Food can be your best friend or worst enemy can't it?
Eating in the morning increases your metabolism for the day. Burning more energy makes you hungrier like giving a fire more fuel.

Mike said...

I actually think I eat less on a day when I do eat breakfast. My dinner is probably always about the same size, but if I don't eat in the morning the chances are my lunch will be HUGE and it will overcompensate for the lack of breakfast.

Anonymous said...

I love breakfast and I'm not ashamed! Nothing beats a sausage, egg and cheese on an everything bagel along with a big cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee.


Note: I'm fat.

Los said...

Three words - Break-fast bars.

Jake said...

Eric loves sausage!

Brent said...

I bookmarked your site for this kind of content??? WEAK! More fight stories please....

Steph said...

Breakfast does indeed kick start your metabolism. I find I'm ravenous about two hours after eating breakfast.
That's very annoying.

Devilled said...

I love breakfast! I love lunch and dinner and in between snacks too!
PS - I'm thin.