Me So Hungy

I don’t eat breakfast. Generally I’m at work within a half an hour of waking up in the morning. I’m all about maximizing my productivity, there is only so much time in the day and I can’t waste any of it on a bowl of Froot Loops or an omelet or something. I’m always go go go and eating breakfast would just be a drag on my overall efficiency. Most important meal of the day my ass, that’s what I say.

Ok all of that is total lie. The only reason I get to work early is so that I can leave earlier. And I don’t eat breakfast because I am just way to lazy for something like that. In fact the act of going to the store to buy something to make for breakfast is too much for me a lot of the time. I don’t think you can really say you’re maximizing your productivity when you usually spend an hour or two watching the Food Network and playing freecell after work everyday.

So yeah, anyway I don’t eat breakfast which always raises an interesting question for me. On the rare days when I do mix in a bagel or something why am I always absolutely starving by lunch time? Seriously, I’m never this hungry on a regular day. Is breakfast really just a warm up for the rest of the day? I think that my stomach is eating itself right now. I’m dying. Literally. I’m so hungry I feel like I might vomit (which by the way is another very interesting phenomenon, seems backwards). Basically I think breakfast is a total scam. I think that if started eating it regularly I would gain like 30 pounds in the first month. It makes sense, I eat breakfast, I’m starving, I eat a bigger lunch and dinner than normal, on top of the food I already ate for breakfast. I’d be such a fatass. Nice try breakfast but I’m on to you.