Thursday, February 22, 2007

Imagine what they'd do to bloggers

Now everyone knows that human rights are not China’s strong suit. I’m not really sure if this fits the mold of a human rights violation but I do know this: China is hardcore. Are treatment facilities for internet addiction really necessary? Is it really a “grave social problem?” It seems to me that internet addiction = no social life. It’s not like these kids are mainlining heroin or giving some dude a bj for a little coke, or neglecting their two children, showing everyone their cooter, then shaving their head . This isn’t something I would consider paying “about 10 times the average salary in China” to treat. I would just smack my kid in the back of the head and tell him to go outside and play basketball.

The facility is “located on an army training base” and “is distinct from the other buildings on campus because of the metal grates and padlocks on every door and the bars on every window.” Wait, what? Padlocks on the doors and bars on the windows? Just in case the kids face the irrepressible urge to escape and run rampant through downtown Shanghai looking for a place to play Warcraft. Possibly a bit excessive is all I’m saying.

The article discusses two “milder cases” of patients seeking treatment. They typically spend four to five hours a week on the internet. No seriously, four to five hours a week. If that’s an addiction than me and many of the people reading this right now would be strapped to a table getting some sort of electroshock therapy as we speak if we lived in China. Another patient with the help of counseling has “mapped out a life plan from now until he's 84.” This in particular cracked me up because it just seems to be playing up a lot of Asian stereotypes. I imagine the overbearing father who has been forcing his son to lead the life he’s chosen for him, the son is not follow this path thus dishonoring the family, only to fall in line later despite being miserable. Also they know kung fu.

This guy Guo Tiejun appears to get it though. According to him “the root of the problem is loneliness and that the most effective treatment is to treat the teens ‘like friends.’” Basically is looks as if China is just really antinerd and they want to force people into well roundedness. I’ve got news for you China; military treatment facilities are not the answer. If you really want nerds to get up from the computer I have a much easier, much more effective approach for you: introduce them to some girls.

10 comments:

David said...

The very last line sort of eludes to a previous China post you made: not of enough girls in China are causing all the boys to become addicted to internet porn. I solved the problem. More girls=less nerds

David said...

The very last line sort of eludes to a previous China post you made: not of enough girls in China are causing all the boys to become addicted to internet porn. I solved the problem. More girls=less nerds

David said...

It seems my comment posted twice; I really didn't mean to seem that emphatic about it......

Lucy said...

umm if 4-5 hours a week is a problem there, I am pretty sure I would continuely be placed in rehab. I am pretty that I am totally pathetic and probably spend 4-5 hours a day on the internet, especially when things are slow at work. I agree with David, they killed all the girls off, so what are the boys supposed to do?

Eric said...

The funny thing about it is that the internet is highly censored by the Chinese government. I don't really know to what extent, but I would assume that means internet porn. So these people don't even get to look at porn, basically I think internet addiction means video game addiction.

Mike said...

China is friggin hilarious. Perhaps the funniest country out there.

John said...

Nice comment.
I took the liberty to quote it in my own blog:
http://www.asiaobserver.com/blog/

John
Asia Observer

Alejandra said...

I spend approximately 14 hours a day online. And this doesn't count the times when I'm not in front of a computer but am fiddling with my e-mail and web browser on my Treo. I also check the emails on my Treo when I wake up in the middle of the night to get water or go to the bathroom. I think they'd probably just shoot me in China if they knew that...

Los said...

This is one of many reasons I'll probably never have China high on the list of possible vacation destinations.

Steph said...

How bizarre! That country would have to be one of the most insane places in the world.