Thursday, September 28, 2006

You're Invited to the Pants Party

I’ve been wearing pants for a long time, and as long as I can remember they have always been worn at or around the same area. I like to keep them a few inches below the belly button, sitting right on the hips. I don’t think I’m alone in wearing my pants in this general area. Sure there are different trends; some people (myself included) have a pair or two of lower rising jeans, some people have some pants that fit a little higher up on the waist, but it never really very varies more than an inch or two. So here’s my question, why does this all change when you reach a certain? A man got on the elevator today as I was leaving work, a conservative estimate of his age would be around 78ish, and his pants were resting snuggly around the lower nipple. I say resting snuggly but really there was no resting at all, his belt was cinched pretty darn tight to get them to stay up this high. This is a good 13 to 15 inches from were my pants like to hang out. I don’t get it. Unless he was Ed Grimly or Lou Diamond Phillips from Stand and Deliver there is no way that he always rocked that style. So what made him change? Am I being insensitive about some old person’s issue that I don’t even know about? Maybe he had arthritic hips and having pants hanging from them cause undue may. Or maybe it’s due to the fact that you tend to lose all discernable shape and get doughy at a certain age which means you have to make a choice, over the paunch or under, and he chose over. I don’t know, and I want to, can anyone help me with this issue? Am I going to be dressing like this in 50 years? If I do it’s going to be because I’ll be getting a kick out of people thinking about how crazy I look, and I’ll probably pull them extra high and snug so that people will accidentally see my balls and I’ll laugh at them thinking I don’t know and trying not to look but not being able to look away.

8 comments:

Mike said...

Of all the pants that I remember trying on (outside of baggy gym shorts or sweatpants) I don't think it's ever been a possibility for me to pull them up that high.

I got nothing on the reason though, like you, I'm still a 20-something.

Brian said...

if i were going to wear my pants like that i would atleast wear suspenders. i think that would be funny.

i think you hit the nail on the head, he probably has a bump that used to be a pot belly. and i think that at his age that is the most comfortable location. think of a pregnant woman who wears a dress with a tighter band right below her boobies. thats all i got.

JW said...

If the guy is 78, lets put his hayday back 50 years, that means sometimes in the 1940's. This is how he would have dressed. Notice the guy's pants. There above the last buttoned button, and I'm putting that button to be right around the sternum. So, it's not his fault, he just never moved out of the 40's in how he liked his clothes to fit. It's like those some of my friend's parents that never left the 70's (wait, ok, maybe that's just cause I'm white trash)

Los said...

I guess when the guy reaches 90, he'll have his pants around his neck.

Ashburnite said...

I always wonder why after women reach a certain age, they start wearing those elastic- waisted, no- back- pockets jeans. I hope that I have more fashion sense than that.

Steph said...

It's to make his schlong look longer of course. Duh!

Eric said...

Mike-that's a good point, he probably had to have his pants special tailored to get them that high

Brian-I've thought about wearing suspenders now, they look awesome, plus im totally a trend setter so if I started wearing them they'd all of a sudden be "in"

JW-50 years ago was 1956, nice math

Los-I think if that guy reaches 90 he won't be wearing pants anymore, strictly hospital gowns for him

Ashburnite-those pants are hot, you should just start rocking them now

steph-i doubt that the case because there is no way this guy has used his d in about 20 years

Needtsza said...

Love the 'Stand and Deliver' reference. Perfect!