Friday, May 04, 2007

I'm taking applications

I feel like I need some sort of advisor. Someone to be the voice of reason when my decision making process goes astray. And let’s face it; I make a lot of bad decisions so it would be useful to have a little angel on my shoulder in certain situations. A life coach of sorts. Plus I kind of want to have an entourage. That would be awesome. This person’s job would be to say things like:

Hey you’re drinking those beers kind of fast, pace yourself, you know you have to go to work tomorrow right?

Or

No buddy, put the phone back in your pocket, you’re drunk

Or

Just because that girl is buying you a shots doesn’t mean you have to drink them

Or

Hey guy, it’s like 2:30 in the morning in you have to be up for work in a few hours, maybe you should get some sleep

Or

Eric, its 7:45 and you still appear to be pretty drunk; maybe you should go into work a little late today.

Or

Um, Eric, where’d your belt go? You might need that.

I feel like this person would be a huge asset. I can hardly think for myself so it would be nice to have someone do it for me.

9 comments:

brian d. said...

Sounds like a good night to me, Mack. I would just roll with it...

By the way, I hate that word verification thing.

Carrie M said...

But then you have commenters on your blog to tell you that you had a great night, so eff the hangover and the voice of reason! Although I do suggest handing the phone over to someone trusted to avoid drunk dials. The rest of it? whatever. It's Friday.

mike said...

Yeah, it's Friday so you can do it all over again tonight and you don't even have to go to work tomorrow.

Anthony said...

I think that I would be a perfect voice of reason. Just imagine how much simpler your life would be when your number 2 on the BL list....it would take a lot of the spotlight off you.

Anonymous said...

it sounds like you are describing a girlfriend...

Baha said...

biff wants this job

Los said...

Sounds like an awfully expensive job ... although probably a useful one. I could've used this angel a few times in my life.

Eric said...

brian d. - the only real problem is when I show up to work and it obvious that im either massively hung over, or still drunk. the boss tends to look down on that.

carrie - good point, its not like i would've been doing anything on a friday anywa.

mike-i like where your heads at

anthony- its certainly true that i could never out bl you

anon. - that would be one form of advisor. although advice might be the wrong word in that situation

baha - if biff expresses interest its all his, because he would also teach me great posture and let me ride in the red porsche.

los - youre right, i doubt i can afford someone with enough experience to keep me from making all my mistakes.

CATHERINETTE SINGLETON said...

I can be that little birdy on your shoulder. I'm not afraid to take the shot out of your hand, and drag you out of the bar by your belt (assuming you're still wearing it).