Friday, September 21, 2007

You Have Questions and I Have Answers

To the person who found my blog through the Google search "my knee is swollan and and its all liquid what do i do?" I have to the advice you're looking for. First off I'm going to assume you meant swollen and not some weird slang implying that your knee is swallowing things. It's an easy mistake to make. You're probably experiencing some discomfort that is affecting your typing ability. For starters I'm going to tell you what not to do. Do not go to a doctor. They're totally useless. Only in it for the money. They don't have your best interests at heart like I do. The solution is simple. Just rummage through your junk draw and find that sewing kit you bought a few years ago because the hem came out of your suit pants. Just treat your knee like an abnormally large blister. Take the needle for the sewing kit and pop that bitch. Be careful though, there's probably a lot of pressure built up in there and a small pinhole will cause a pretty powerful spray. If you're worried about staining your shirt and/or wall just use a steak knife instead. You also might want to be on the look out for infections, so you should sterilize your knee stabbing instrument. Simply running it under hot tap water should suffice. After that wrap an ace bandage around that sucker and you should be good to go. You'll playing hockey or wrestling bears or drinking Labatts or whatever else people do in Ontario in no time.

Your Welcome,



Los said...

Sounds like some good advice to me ... hey, on an unrelated note, do you have any bridges you'd like to sell?

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

You should be honored. They have socialized healthcare in Canada and that person decided to click on you for advice with this problem.

mike said...

I'll be honest... at first I wasn't sure if "swollan" was a typo of your doing or from the actual google search.

Maybe that's the Canadian spelling

Catherinette Singleton said...

I thought you knew that "swollan" was the hot new phrase that all the cool kids are using!