Thursday, April 23, 2009

Ninjas

No, no, no, you’re doing it all wrong.

First of all, I’m pretty sure a ninja would not rob a convenience store; they’re a little too cunning for petty theft. Plus I’m pretty sure they’re purpose is assassinations, not robbing a gas station for $60. Secondly, it defeats the entire purpose of being a ninja if you’re just going to take your mask off. They wear masks for a reason, it’s called stealth dumbass. And a ninja wouldn’t run from the police, they would just blend into the potato chip aisle and become invisible (although a real ninja wouldn’t have to run from the police, they never would have been seen in the first place, remember the whole stealth thing). Lastly, ninjas don’t ask for anything, they just kill people and take it, get right idiot.

This guy clearly flunked out of ninja school after like two weeks. Maybe he needs to do a little more ninja research.

Seriously though, how awesome is this guy? I can just imagine his thought process:

“Bro, I’m totally out of crystal meth and I don’t have any money or a job. What am I going to do? (Light bulb flashes over head) I know, ninjas are awesome and everyone is scared of them right? I’ll dress in all black and take my samurai sword to the dry cleaners and they’ll just hand over the cash. Bro, I am wicked smaaaaaaaaaht.”

This is sort of like dressing up in your Darth Vader costume and tried to hold up a McDonalds with a toy light saber.

2 comments:

Los said...

Jackie Chan would not be proud.

Matthew said...

Who took Big Pimpin' off realultimatepower? WTF?!?!?!

I had a team of ninjas on my kickball field last saturday. They were totally stealthy running the bases.