Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Most Unlikely Sausage Fest Ever

You run into a lot of odd office scenarios working in the engineering field. It’s only natural, I work with a bunch of nerds and nerds are awkward. I’ve been with my company for almost 4 years now. I would estimate that I’ve been to the bathroom about 2000 times in those 4 years, and the same guy is in the bathroom no less than 80% of the time. At first I thought we were just on the same pee schedule, so I switched it up and he was still there almost every time. I decided to keep tabs on his bathroom use for a few days and realized he averaged going to the bathroom 18 times a day. How insane is that? You’re probably thinking it’s a bladder control issue or something similar. It’s not. He’s just one of those really crazy type of nerds who has weird, weird habits. In fact, that’s an entire post I’ll save for another day. There is another guy who has worn the same pair of pants for at least the last six months. One of my coworkers recently proposed to a Russian woman he met over the internet. He got a real Russian pride! My point is nerds are bizarre so bizarre things happen in my office. What happened today was certainly an original though.

A guy came by my desk shortly after lunch to invite me to a small gathering in the conference room. It was a baby shower for Yan who is about 100 months pregnant and going on maternity leave soon. Baby showers aren’t really my jam, but there was cake and what kind of asshole turns out free cake? So I went. Plus I love Yan, she’s the best. She is perhaps the biggest Asian stereotype I’ve ever encountered. She’s a Chinese woman in her late 20’s with Hello Kitty crap plastered all over her cubicle. I’m not joking. How could you not want to be around that as much as possible?

I walk down to the conference room to eat free cake celebrate the impending birth and when I get there I notice something kind of weird. There are about 25 people there and Yan is literally the only woman. What the f. When in recorded human history has there ever been a baby shower with a 24:1 male to female ratio?

I need a new job.

6 comments:

Los said...

What kinds of games does one play at an all-guy baby shower?

Eric said...

Sword fights?

JW said...

That's what happens when you throw a baby shower at an engineering firm...apparently Yan isn't the only one living up to stereotypes.

Eric said...

No kidding. You have no idea how many short sleeved dress shirts I see on a daily basis.

Paige Jennifer said...

Preface: I'm sure you're normal. No really, I am.

Dad: Paige, I'm not going to tell you how to date and I won't really tell you who to date.

Me: Uh huh.

Dad: But, I'd like to pass along some wise advice.

Me: Sure.

Dad: Steer clear of psychologists, neurologists and engineers. Not a one is capable of normal human interaction.

Me: Okey dokey.

Eric said...

Your dad is a wise man, I wouldn't say all engineers are incapable of normal human interaction, but it solid 80% aren't.

Also I'm not that normal, so I'm not offended.