Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I see you...

Oh hello. You’re still here? Well you may have noticed that I have written anything in well over a month. I’ve been thinking lately that I should remedy that situation. I know you loyal few who continue checking this blog semi frequently are clamoring for a new post and I want to enrich you life with my amazing wordsmithing*. There is a small dilemma though. If you’re still reading than it safe to assume you’ve read quite a few of my posts. If that is the case then you know that I’m at my best (in the sense that my writing is more amusing for you) when I’m complaining about something, doing something stupid, or just having an overall crappy life. That is my wheelhouse (it’s a gift) and therein lies the problem. My life is awesome right now; I really have nothing to complain about. And let’s face it you guys don’t really want to hear about puppies and unicorns and pissing glitter and shooting rainbows out of my ass. That’s boring**. Even more boring than the other things I write about (if that’s possible). However I think I may have come up with a temporary solution while I ease back onto the blogging horse: my roommate. My roommate regularly says things that are creepy, inappropriate, or just plain weird and I figure why should I keep these things to myself? It seems selfish so I think I’ll occasionally offer up his best material for your enjoyment. Here’s a winner he said last night, mostly unprompted:

“I’m pretty sure I would fuck Zac Effron. He’s prettier than most of the girls I’ve dated.”

See what I mean. You should look forward this.

He also told me that I have a beautiful falsetto. But that’s not weird. That’s just a fact.

*Part of amazing wordsmithing is making up words like wordsmithing.

**On second thought shooting rainbows out of my ass would be pretty exciting, but I can’t actually do that. I was being metaphorical.


Paige Jennifer said...

I'd reconsider installing a deadbolt on my bedroom door. Or, perhaps, wallpapering the living room with torn out pages from People and Teen Beat that have Ephron on display. Then see what comments your roommate has to offer.

Los said...

How well do you know your roommate, anyway?

Strip Poker said...

What entertaining message