Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Oh hey

I know what you’re saying right now: Eric, you’re blog sucks, you haven’t written anything in weeks. I know, I apologize. I can’t really argue that fact. Only, I will. Watch this.

What do you want from me? Am I the only one that realizes this is the absolute worst time of year? Football’s over, baseball hasn’t started yet, and college basketball is in the boring part of the season. Writers have been on strike for the last three months so there’s nothing on TV. The weather is too bad to do anything outside. Basically there is absolutely nothing going on in my life. Unless you want to hear about a trip to the gym, the 50,000th (and probably worst) recap of Lost on the internet, or a random drunken Saturday night, I got nothin’. I can’t even write about the nights out because to be honest I haven’t remembered the last few (perhaps I could turn this into some sort of self help blog, I may have a drinking problem. Would that be something you’d enjoy?). Here are the two most interesting things that happened to me so far this week:

• I was riding to work the other day and passed a Tahoe or Suburban or something pimped out with the usual accoutrements: 24” rims, tinted windows, something thuggish written on the back windshield in calligraphy, and a loud, rattling stereo system. Pretty standard stuff, only their musical choice threw me off. They were blaring polka. And the guys inside were really pumped about it, they love the ole squeeze box.

• I had a Jolly Rancher stuck to one of my back teeth for a solid 45 minutes to an hour yesterday afternoon. Which actually isn’t interesting at all except for paradox of feelings it caused. It is both infuriating and delicious at the same time. Weird.

Don’t worry though, loyal readers, there is a lot more adventure on the horizon. Tomorrow I have to leave the office for the next two months for bridge inspections, which is going to suck. Working outdoors isn’t really my thing, especially in February. Also I’m going skiing for the first time in my life this weekend. Despite being a spectacular athlete I’m pretty clumsy (Another paradox? Am I using that word right?) The combination of me hanging in a bucket 85 feet over a river and me hurtling down mountains increases my chances of serious bodily harm and/or death exponentially. So I think I might have a story or two to tell soon.


Los said...

Ah yes, the jolly rancher. This is about as bad as when you get one of those popcorn kernals stuck in your teeth or in the back of your throat, and you make that hacking sound for 24 straight hours, trying to dislodge that sucker!

Have fun skiing!

Aaron said...

Dearest Eric-

It really means the world to your readers that you continue making us feel better about ourselves be knowing how much your life sucks. Please keep it up.

-Your fans

Kim said...

Hey, maybe you'll get lucky and break some bones skiing so you won't have to go inspect bridges! Just a thought.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

I subscribe so am not the least concerned about your lack of posts. I get a little notice when you write something and am always delighted :)

Skiing? Jeezus be careful. I mean be careful to remember every moment so you can post all about it.

non-Blondie said...

Infuriating & delicious is possibly the best description of anything, ever.

brian d. said...

Uh, spectacular athlete? I thought you were an honest blogger, Mack!