You Have Questions and I Have Answers

To the person who found my blog through the Google search "my knee is swollan and and its all liquid what do i do?" I have to the advice you're looking for. First off I'm going to assume you meant swollen and not some weird slang implying that your knee is swallowing things. It's an easy mistake to make. You're probably experiencing some discomfort that is affecting your typing ability. For starters I'm going to tell you what not to do. Do not go to a doctor. They're totally useless. Only in it for the money. They don't have your best interests at heart like I do. The solution is simple. Just rummage through your junk draw and find that sewing kit you bought a few years ago because the hem came out of your suit pants. Just treat your knee like an abnormally large blister. Take the needle for the sewing kit and pop that bitch. Be careful though, there's probably a lot of pressure built up in there and a small pinhole will cause a pretty powerful spray. If you're worried about staining your shirt and/or wall just use a steak knife instead. You also might want to be on the look out for infections, so you should sterilize your knee stabbing instrument. Simply running it under hot tap water should suffice. After that wrap an ace bandage around that sucker and you should be good to go. You'll playing hockey or wrestling bears or drinking Labatts or whatever else people do in Ontario in no time.

Your Welcome,

Eric

Hell Yeah!

I often get great enjoyment out of seeing the Google searches that send people to this blog. Some people search for some pretty odd things. My most frequent hits come from folks who want to read the writings from people likeminded in their hatred of birds. That and peeing outside. Apparently I’m one of the leading experts on peeing outside. Today though I received a hit from a Google search that could not make me happier, seriously it’s awesome. According to Google I am the world’s #1 authority on “something badass.” That’s right, perform a search for “something badass” and this blog is the first thing you’ll see. I figure this means one of two things:

1. I am the official last word on all things badass. If you need to know if
you or something around you is in fact badass I’m the one to talk. Or…

2. I’m the biggest badass in the world.

You know what? Strike that, it doesn’t mean on of those two, it’s both of those two. If I get final say on what is badass or not then I say I’m the biggest badass in the world. And if I ‘m the biggest badass in the world then who could possibly be more of an expert on what is or isn’t badass? So for future reference if you ever are on the fence as to whether something is badass or not feel free to email me or leave a comment and I’d be more than happy to provide an answer to your query. Or I might just say f you, because I’m badass and I don’t have to answer your stupid questions if I don’t want.