Vegas

I said I would do a recap of my trip to Las Vegas last weekend so here it goes: watched a lot of basketball, lost a lot of money gambling, spent a lot of money on booze, threw up several times. Just kidding. Although not really, that pretty much sums up the entire weekend, but I’ll go a little more in depth. Let’s break it down by day.

Wednesday:

I guess I got a tad overzealous when booking my flight because I was scheduled to arrive several hours before everyone else. This would’ve left me in a bit of a dilemma considered the hotel was in Mike’s name and I wouldn’t be able to check in until he got there. So my plan was obviously to leave my bag at the front desk and gamble by myself until someone else turned up. This sounds like something that isn’t very fun, unless you’re me, in which case it’s awesome. But Southwest, sensing my dilemma, and being an ace at customer service, solved this problem for me. When I arrived at the gate my customary 15 to 20 minutes before the plane takes off I was in formed that I had been put on a different flight leaving in ten minutes. So I rush to the new gate to wait in the back on the C line so I can sit in the back of the plane, next to the bathroom, between two gross dudes. There I learn that I have an hour and a half layover in Albuquerque, NM. Kick ass! Since I would now only be arriving in Vegas a few minutes before Mike I can wait for him and check into the hotel before getting the party started. Finally I arrive in Vegas and sit down in a bar to enjoy some NIT action and a $7.50 airport Miller Lite. I probably should check the arrival board before settling in because Mike’s flight was delayed about 40 minutes. 30 something dollars in airport Miller Lites later Mike finally get there and we can go to the hotel. So to sum up, with the cab ride I was already down over $40 and two hours behind schedule before even officially arriving in Vegas. A bad omen? I think so.

The rest of the night was pretty standard, just a few hours of blackjack at the Mirage with Randy my Mr. Universesque dealer. I am only slightly exaggerating when I say he had at least 140” chest. Randy was enormous. And quite possibly the corniest man in the world. He was full of the dumbest jokes ever, and since I was at the table for a few hours, and everyone else was turning over at a pretty good rate, I got to hear his whole routine at least three times. Here my favorite that jokester Randy was slaying ‘em with over and over again:

Randy: Did you hear about that actress that killed herself? Reese, uh, Reese, ummm…
Unsuspecting Victim: Witherspoon?
Randy: No with a knife. (Rim shot)

Good one Rand.

I’ll leave Thursday - Sunday for tomorrow since I don’t feel like writing anymore. I’m sorry that you guys won’t be able to sleep tonight because of the anticipation of that one but I have to go back to pretending to do work for a while.

I'll bet you $5 I don't have a gambling problem

There are two things in life that I really love. Actually there are a lot of things in life that I really love, like drinking outside, and sausage, and staying in bed until 2 p.m. on a Saturday. But two things that are near the top of the list of things that I really love are sports and gambling. Conveniently enough combining the two gives you a third thing I really love, gambling on sports. It just makes everything completely riveting to me. For that reason I tend to slant my bets towards televised sporting events. You could take any boring NBA game and throw a few dollars down and I’m captivated. It really makes a boring night at home with nothing to do much more exciting. You should try this experiment: bet the over on a random college basketball game tonight, watch it on TV, and then try and not be on the edge of your seat for every shot hoisted. Well actually not tonight because 24 is on. I wonder if I can bet on how many people Jack Bauer is going to kill?

Now I know what you’re thinking. Does Eric maybe have a little bit of a gambling problem? The answer to that is no. Ok, the answer to that is possibly but probably not. I rarely lose much money, and everyone knows gambling is only a problem if you lose. Just kidding. Sort of. I also don’t wager more than a few dollars on any game. I don’t so much gamble to make money as I do it to take some mundane game I don’t care about and make it more exciting to watch. A game becomes much more stirring when you have something riding on it, even if it’s only $5 or $10. Although there are urges that need to be controlled. For example, sometimes you’re looking at the lines and you see that a team that is in first place in a conference is playing a 0-19 team and the line is only -2. When things like this happen (which is totally insane by the way) you’re going to have the urge to deposit your entire bank account into your online gambling account to bet on that game, resist that urge. Even though you should have because, shocker, Loyola won by 10 and you would’ve made a ton of money on something that was an absolute lock. All right I probably just exhibited about 8 of the 20 signs one might be addicted to gambling, but whatever. I actually haven’t bet on anything in about 8 months, which is a long time. If you can go through an entire NFL season (the pinnacle of sports gambling) without betting on a game I think it’s safe to say you’re in the clear.

I did however, put a few dollars into the account on Thursday, and let me tell you, it has been good. Just a few bets here and there and I’ve more than quadrupled that account this week. That was really all just a warm up though, because in less than a week is the Holy Grail of sports betting: the Super Bowl. You can bet on anything for the Super Bowl. Who will score first, how many yards will Peyton Manning have, what will the halftime score be, over/under on Bernard Berrian catches. You name it, it can be wagered on. It’s great. With those kinds of stakes you will be totally engrossed from the opening coin toss. Mostly because you can bet on the coin toss. I think I’ll take heads this year.

How You Know Your Friends Might Have A Gambling Problem

While playing poker one friend loses so much money on the BCS title game that he decides he needs to be "the house" and let everyone else play blackjack against him, and everyone else proceeds to lose enough money to him that he nearly recoups his football losses. My friends are bad influences.