Rogaine for one please

A couple of months ago I was a groomsman in a friends wedding. It was a great time. Yesterday the groom emailed everyone a bunch of pictures from the reception that confirmed that we were all having a great time. While perusing the photo album though I came to two startling realizations that have scarred me terribly:

1. I am awfully unphotogenic (not a word). First of all I have a horrible picture smile. I simply cannot fake a smile. For some reason I seemed to convey the exact opposite emotion, I just look mean. Second, I’m rarely actually looking at the camera. There are a few pictures where the entire wedding party is smiling happily while I’m looking off in the distance scowling at something. It looks like someone just punched my dog in the face off camera. Why do I look so pissed when I smile? I need to work on this problem.

2. I’m balding a rapid pace. It’s one thing to notice a few hairs on your pillow; it’s a whole different ballgame when the bright lights of a camera flash reveal large patches of scalp in a picture. This is awful. I feel like I’m being cut down in the prime of my life. I just turned 27 on Monday and I’ll be bald by 28 without some serious help. I’ll look like a freak show. Seriously, when have you ever seen a red headed bald guy? I’ve been racking my brain to come up with someone and I can’t. I think I might be the first, that’s not a feat I hoped to accomplish. I think it’s time to look into some treatment options, I’m very vain and this would be to big of a blow to the ego to recover from.