I Watch To Much TV

I like to think that I’m a fairly normal person. All right, that’s a lie, I know that I’m actually really strange, but I thought there were some aspects of my life that were normal. My television viewing habits for example. I always thought that if I watched a show regularly it must be popular, because I’m just like everyone else when it comes to television. I mean I am an 18-34 year old male, I’m coveted by advertising agencies, aren’t producers tailoring their shows to get me to watch so they can sell me things? I thought this until I found out that The Closer on TNT is the most highly rated cable television series of all time. How is this possible? I haven’t seen one episode; I wouldn’t even know when it was on. The only reason I know it exists is because you’re bombarded with commercials for it while trying to watch Shawshank Redemption or Rudy for the 800th time, and yet in the history of cable television no show has ever been watched by as many people as The Closer (Side Note: Isn’t Kyra Sedgewick married to Kevin Bacon? That alone is enough to turn me off of a show).

I was unsettled by this news so I decided to take a closer look at the Nielsen ratings. There was not a single show I watch in the top twenty. I realize this week is a little skewed because of holidays and football, and there are some shows I enjoy that will be there once they come back from hiatus or start the season (Lost, Heroes, 24 to name a few) but come on. 12 of the 17 not football shows in the top twenty are detective or lawyer shows. What is the deal with all these shows? I’m not saying they aren’t good, I used to watch Law and Order a lot, and CSI holds my attention from time to time, but how many of them do you need. Aren’t they, in a sense, just variations of the same theme? Shark, Without a Trace, Cold Case, Law and Order: SVU, Law and Order: CI, CSI: Miami, CSI: New York, Numbers (sorry for the misspelling Numbers, I didn’t know how to do a backwards 3), Criminal Minds, Close Case. All these shows were in the top 20. I don’t get it, how many times a week can one watch CSI. Is it because they’re easy? Sure the plots might seem complicated or convoluted but really you don’t have to pay attention for more than an hour because story lines don’t really carry over. I imagine that’s why they’re so popular; you don’t have to invest anything. What I don’t get is why there have to be so many of them. It’s like when Deal or No Deal became popular, now people aren’t even trying. Ok, lets dig up a b list celebrity like Penn Gillette to be a host, get a bunch of hot girls and you’ve got yourself a hit game show. Everyone is a copycat. NCIS was in the top twenty. All you did was switch the letters around! It’s just Navy CSI and yet over 13 million people watched that show.

And don’t get me started on the shows that get canceled. I had the season pass to no less than 4 new shows this season in my Tivo that lasted 3 episodes or less. My new favorite shows this season are Heroes, Studio 60, and Friday Night Lights. Only one of those shows is really watched by anyone, the other two (which are great shows, really, you should check them out) are on the brink of cancellation. Studio 60 is up against the third CSI in the franchise, it doesn’t stand a chance. Arrested Development was very original and very hilarious but barely anyone watched. The Office almost got canceled; Family Guy did then came back. They won’t ever crack the top twenty but 15 million people watched a show staring Charlie Sheen. Which I’m told is very funny, but it just seems like it came from the sitcom factory. I’m not a TV critic, so I wouldn’t bother to try and review anything. I could just be the case that I like bad TV.

While I was home for Christmas a few weeks ago I started talking to me parents about how awful shows like According to Jim can stay on the air so long when so many great shows get canceled. My mom’s response was:

“Oh According to Jim is hilarious, you what show I hate? The Office.”

Me: “Mom that might be one the funniest TV shows to come out in years.”

Mom: “Yeah, I’ve never really watched it, but those previews just didn’t look funny.”

So basically what I realized is that normal is actually middle aged people who think Jim Belushi is funny. This clearly explains why so many great shows get canceled and why I’m actually pretty happy to be abnormal.