A Disturbing Sight

I’ve spent a significant amount of time in several major cities. I also went to college. Those two experiences combined mean that I have seen many people urinate in many strange places. People get drunk and sometimes they just can’t make it to a restroom. Generally they will duck into an alley or behind a dumpster or bush. Or a bank vestibule on F St. if you’re Mike. Sometimes you’re really drunk and you just go underneath a table at Seacrets like Brian, but in his defense the floor is all sand, so that just gets absorbed. I have even relieved myself in some unusual areas, like the lobby of my schools architecture building. Once in New Orleans someone attempted to rob me at knifepoint while pissing behind a mailbox maybe 100 ft away from a cop (the robbery was unsuccessful, perhaps he saw I was trying to use the bathroom and his sense of decorum got the better of him, also he was like 13 so I just laughed at him and told him to go away). In fact, while in Philadelphia, I try and make a point to pee outside. The whole city smells like urine anyways so I assume that is encouraged. In all these scenarios there is a common factor controlling ones actions: alcohol. When you drink a lot of fluids they need to be expelled. When those fluids contain alcohol you tend not to care where you expel them. Knowing this I found it very strange when, while walking back to work from my lunch break, I saw a man peeing in a bed of grass along the sidewalk in plain view of the hundreds of business men and women walking down said street. He was sort of standing next to a tree, but made absolutely no attempt to hide himself behind that tree. I know what you’re thinking, he’s was probably a homeless man right? No he wasn’t. At least if he was he was very well dressed homeless man, which I’m sure is possible. It just begs the question, how bad do you have to go that you will just whip it out on the sidewalk for the entire world to see and think absolutely nothing of it? There are plenty of buildings he could have gone to for access to a public bathroom. There was a mall across the street. If you didn’t want to go in some building there are any number of alleys that would have provided plenty of privacy. So why do you have to piss on the sidewalk in downtown Baltimore so that I have to see this right after I just ate lunch?