I think I'm creating my own NaBloPoMo. No posting on the weekends. It's to much work. Actually the real problem is that I'm not at work. I've realized that I like do other things better than blogging. On the weekends I can do those things. I like blogging more than I like working, so I'm all for during the week, but not on the weekend. Plus all blogging on a Saturday does is give people more to catch up on on Monday, I like provide a distraction when you need a break at work but I don't want to get anyone fired because they have so many extra posts to read, because I know they are riveting and you wouldn't be able to pull yourself away no matter how much work you have on your desk.

That's What She Said Friday!

It's time for another installment of That's What She Said Friday! Are you guys pumped? I know I am. This week it's an all Aaron edition of TWSSF. Who's Aaron? It doesn't matter, it's just a coincidence that he had two good TWSSs this week.

First, Aaron was trying to turn on his laptop. Apparently the process has been slowed significantly as a result of some weather program he downloaded recently and it's been a cause of frustration for him.

Aaron: Dammit, I need more RAM.

Me: That's what she said.

Not my best effort but whatever, it's been a slow week.

Last night we were eating dinner after winning our first round playoff game and advancing to the City Finals next week in kickball (Ed. Note: Our kickball team is sick). Aaron pulled out his wallet to pay for dinner.

Jess: [referring to his wallet] It's so little.

Aaron: [dejectedly] That's what she said.

Have a good weekend suckers.

Welcome To My Life...

Here is a fun, short story that also serves a great look into my life and what it's like to be me:

Riding my bike to work this morning I pull up to the corner Pratt and Light St. waiting for traffic to subside so I could cross. As soon as I come to a stop, prop myself up on the curb, and wait patiently a truck comes flying in the right lane dousing me directly in the face with water. Only me. Not a single other person get wet. I know what you're thinking. Doesn't that only really happen to people in the movies? Apparently not. I know what else you're thinking. When was the last time it rained, isn't it really dry outside? You're right, it is very dry outside. It is just my luck that on a six lane highway the only vehicle in the right lane found the only puddle in all of Baltimore to splatter me in the face with seconds after stopping. And here's the best part, this wasn't a pool of rainwater collecting in a pothole or anything like that. It was a backed up inlet to a sewer line. Welcome to my life.




On a separate happier note someone was lead via google to my blog by perhaps the greatest keyword search ever. I just wanted to print it here again in hopes on becoming the #1 google search for:

john madden runs it up the a hole

That's What She Said Friday

It’s That’s What She Said Friday! This week was a really tough one. I had two excellent choices; I went back and forth all morning over which selection would make cut. Eventually I came to the decision that you guys have been really good this week and deserve a special treat. It’s a That’s What She Said double feature!

The first one comes from my friend Pat. He’s an architect, but he also happens to be an AutoCAD specialist. I’ve seen his work, it’s stellar. As a result of being better at AutoCAD than everyone else he often gets annoying requests for help from his coworkers. Enjoy the following exchange:

Co-worker- "yo...can you save that rendering on the network for me?"
Pat - frustrated because this happens a lot "fine...tell me where to save it?"
Co-worker- with an equally frustrated tone back to me "i don’t care...just put it wherever you want..."

...PAUSE...

Pat - "that’s what she said..."

BSSC is the organization that runs the social sports leagues in Baltimore (you know, where my friends and I win all the championships, except for softball this year, I don’t want to talk about it). Matt works for BSSC on the side refereeing football and volleyball, and being an official for softball and kickball. During softball season his job is to set up the fields before the games and then walk around making sure no chaos ensues. This week he was installing the bases on a field (which are held in by metal stakes driven into the dirt) with Becca when this conversation took place:

Becca - Let me show you a trick.
Becca – You have to find the hole before you hammer it in.
Matt - ---snickering---
Matt - ……
Matt - ….

He didn’t say that’s what she said. Can you believe that? What a wasted opportunity. Matt, I don’t even know you anymore.