On occasion you run across a person who claims to have lived a life without regret. They will throw out a bunch of old clichés like everything happens for a reason, or whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and claim that they would change nothing. I personally don’t believe any of that garbage for a second; though even if I did I certainly would never consider myself one of those people. I’ve done plenty of regrettable things. I mean, I went to college. And I drink, how could I not have. They range from the obvious, major regrets* to the seemingly benign but actually huge regrets**. Sure I learned something valuable from these events and hopefully was able to take something positive out them to better myself, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t wish they never happened.
I say all of this because last night I realized the biggest regret of my life has recently occurred. The opportunity of a lifetime has completely slipped away without my even realizing it. While watching Whitney: From the Hills to the City I saw it, a preview for a new MTV reality show: Bromance with Brody Jenner. Ever since Spencer Pratt went off the deep end and grew that creepy flesh colored beard Brody Jenner has been without a bro. Following in the footsteps of the immortal Paris Hilton*** he’s decided to turn to fill that void. How did I not know about this show? How did I not apply to be on this show? I’ll never forgive myself. Could you imagine the possibilities of being in a bromance with Brody Jenner (I’d call him B Jens, we’d be that tight)? Right now we could be douching it up all over LA. Meeting Lauren Conrad at Les Deux and being total tools. Going over to dad Bruce’s house and pretending we don’t want to bang his stepsister. Getting a suite at the Palms so we could be douchy in Vegas for a weekend. The possibilities are endless and I missed my chance.
I’m going to be crying myself to sleep for weeks over this.
* See: May 2005; Car; Guard rail on North Capitol St.
** I missed a flight the day after Thanksgiving last year and I’m fairly certain that it completely altered the course of my entire life, not in a positive way. But that’s another story for another time. Or probably never, because that’s not how we roll on this blog.
*** If you ever doubt what direction you should be heading in life its generally good advice to just do what Paris Hilton would do.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I would probably like to be on Survivor ... that might be the only reality show I'd like to be a part of.
I'm not sure how it happened but last night I saw two minutes of that show. And the only thought I could muster was this: his dad must be so proud.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Brody Jenner is a tool. he - as an entity alone - makes my skin crawl.
Post a Comment