I need like tree fitty

I write a lot about homeless people in this forum. I’m really sure why, they just sort of fascinate me. And a lot of them a crazy and therefore hilarious. I always find myself curious of there circumstances, I want to know how they ended up where they are today. I never ask because it seems rude to a homeless dude what happened to his home, but still I’m curious. For example on my walk to work most mornings I see a couple spooning in a little alcove in a building and I think to myself, where the dating before become homeless and if so how did two people find themselves on the streets simultaneously? Couldn’t one of them have gotten there life together for the other? Or did they meet while being homeless? If that’s the case it’s someone heartwarming to know that two people can find love anywhere. Or maybe they’re not in love; they’re just keeping each other warm. Which is still sort of sweet I guess. But it’s hot as hell here so I think they must be in love. Only two people who really love each other could stand to spoon while sweating profusely. Anyway, the point is I’m curious about these people.

There is another man I see everyday that I have a lot of questions about. My house is about 200 yards from a large intersection. It gets very busy during rush hour, and everyday for close to a year this guy walks between the cars stopped at the red light with a sign, panhandling. I’ve never given him any money because it didn’t take long for me to realize that he’s making a pretty solid living. The guy has to make at least $8-$10 an hour. Some Walmart employees would be pissed if they knew about this guy. Also he never asked me, which I find sort of insulting. Do I look like some dick who wouldn’t give you any change? I mean I wouldn’t, but still. This man changes his clothes a couple times a week. Where does he keep his clothes? Granted he’s still not the cleanest guy in the world, and you can still usually tell he doesn’t bath regularly, but the ability to pick what outfit you want to wear to take advantage of the kindness of strangers that day puts you a step above your average beggar. From time to time I’ve seen him taking a break from begging for snack time. He takes a stroll down to Royal Farms for some yum yums to treat himself for a hard days work. And I wonder, when you’re homeless why go for the Goldfish and Oreo Cookies? Wouldn’t you want a turkey sandwich or something? Perhaps some protein or carbohydrates so you don’t, you know, die of malnutrition? I was always a little skeptical about whether he was actually homeless or not because of these things but yesterday removed a lot of doubt. I was walking downtown and I saw the same guy. I guess he had just gotten off of work at his corner and was taking a stroll. I was like oh hey, that’s that homeless guy, what’s he doing down here. Then I noticed something odd on his belt (some might even find it odd that he was wearing a belt but whatever). I glanced down and he had a cell phone clipped to his belt. I was stunned. First of all I always thought this guy seemed pretty cool, clearly he’s not because everyone knows cell phone belt clips are super lame. Second of all, how the f does a homeless guy have a cell phone? And who is he calling? And don’t any of those people have a couch he can crash on. I was pretty pissed that this guy goes out begging for people’s hard earned money and somehow affords a cell phone. Then this morning I saw him rocking a discman. This was equally as galling. Batteries are expensive and he’s homeless, which means he has to be bored a lot so I’m sure he wears them out often. If this guy ever asks me for money I’m punching him in the balls.